There’s nothing quite like the feeling of triumph upon finishing your first draft, but you’d be a fool to think that your copy is perfect as is. Aside from the obvious threat of spelling or grammatical errors, there could be concerns regarding readability, conciseness and whether the copy truly speaks to your readers. Need some pointers to clean up your copy? Never fear – Wordsmith is here!
A bit of housekeeping
Before you go scouring for edits, Steve Harrison, in his book How To Write Better Copy, recommends that you reread your existing draft from the perspective of your audience (in Harrison’s words, people who are usually “thick-headed, irritable and distracted”). Here’s a handy checklist of questions to ask yourself:
· Is your headline attention grabbing?
· Does the article demonstrate that you understand your readers’ problems and views?
· Is the solution or view that you are promoting clearand backedwith proof?
· Have you anticipated reader doubts and proactively addressed them?
· Is there a clear call to action?
Each of these are tips improve your ability to persuade, so if you answered “no” to any of the above questions, fix it in your next draft!
The dividing tactic
Have you ever read an article that just seemed to go on and on? Reading an endless block of text is not only frustrating, but it’s also tiring – especially if you only want to pick out certain details. Harrison recommends that you print out your article and hold it at arm’s length. Without reading the copy, can you discern what this piece is about?
If the answer is no, then you may have placed too much reliance on your headline. To better divide your copy into manageable chunks and help readers get their bearings, Harrison quotes Steve Krug and his book Don’t Make Me Think – where the liberal use of (sub)headings throughout your piece can act as “informal” guides on a page. “They tell you what each section is about, or if they’re less literal, they intrigue you,” clarifies Harrison. “Either way, they help you decide which parts to read, scan or skip.”
Alternatively, consider the use of visuals to help break up the monotony of text. We’re visual creatures and often take notice of a picture’s details before looking at text, so if you have a visual with a corresponding sub-head or caption, even better!
The war on vocabulary
It’s certainly tempting to use long and flashy words to sound sophisticated, but Harrison argues that it’s wasted effort, and simplicity and clarity will always trump extravagance – a belief shared by renowned suspense writer Stephen King, who once said:
“Remember that the basic rule of vocabulary is use the first word that comes to your mind, if it is appropriate and colourful. If you hesitate and cogitate, you will come up with another word – of course you will, there’s always another word – but it probably won’t be as good as your first one, or as close to what you usually mean.”
Putting a pair of Nikes on your copy
Why do people exercise? To be healthier, to build up their physical capabilities and to appear more attractive. The same thinking can be applied to copywriting! With an active voice, the added liveliness gives a boost to our power of persuasion.
When you use a passive verb in a sentence, like “this article is being read by you”, Harrison explains that the subject of the sentence isn’t doing anything – “nothing is being pushed forward, it is letting things happen,” he writes. Conversely, when using an active voice like “you are reading this article”, it gives the copy a sense of purpose and readers will feel more inclined to continue on.
Adverbs are also a culprit in diminishing the strength of a sentence. Consider Steve Jobs’ thinking regarding a new advertising slogan for Apple. “Think Differently” was proposed, but Jobs saw how the adverb differently sapped energy from its preceding verb. Opting to knock off the adverb for a minor grammatical error, the company’s punchy “Think Different” slogan was born.
The sins of syntax and chronology
“Understanding comes from the reader’s ability to predict where the story is heading, and their brain finds it much easier to anticipate the action if the first thing it bumps into is a subject and an action verb,” explains Harrison. The most successful way to structure a sentence is to follow the golden rule of subject, verb, object expressed by ad agency DDB founder William Bernbach. When you reorder the rule, you actually risk confusing your readers! Consider this example:
· John [subject] was reading [verb] the book [object]
· Reading [verb] the book [object] was John [subject]
While the second example is technically correct, the irregular order can be off-putting. Harrison also notes that readers prefer copy that is written chronologically. “When they [readers] look at a sentence, they expect the order of events that you’ve described to be the order of events as it actually happened… It also enables you to link actors to actions, and describe the dynamics of cause and effect.” Messing with linear storytelling (unless you’re an expert like Quentin Tarantino) is equivalent to reordering a sentence’s syntax – it may be grammatically acceptable, but there’s always the risk of creating unnecessary confusion.
Empowering the reader
The word you is the most powerful word at your disposal. It transforms your readers’ role from users, targets and consumers to the “hero of their own stories”. Not convinced? Consider Old Spice’s viral campaign featuring former NFL player Isaiah Mustafa and his unforgettable delivery:
“Hello ladies. Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me. But if he stopped using lady-scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like me.”
In a single month, Old Spice saw an incredible spike in purchases made by the female demographic and reported a 107 percent increase in sales – all thanks to the power of “you” (although Mustafa’s Adonis-like physique and smooth baritone voice may have helped).
Last, but definitely not least, value conciseness in your copy. The longer a sentence goes on, the more readers will struggle to absorb details. Any time a reader has to reread something is time wasted, so prioritise clarity and conciseness as a courtesy to your audience.
Cranking out your first draft is arguably the toughest part about writing, a process that Harrison compares to making wine. With the strenuous tasks over, the second draft is much more straightforward – like casking the wine to age. Now that you know the elements of a good second draft, you can craft your very own (metaphorical) bottles of Château Lafite Rothschild!