What makes writing good? Although everyone has a subjective idea of what good writing is, it’d be rare to find someone who wouldn’t rank focus, persuasiveness and pacing amongst the top qualities. These elements are especially crucial in business writing where audiences expect (and demand) information quickly and concisely. Now it should come as no surprise that headlines and hooks are key to attracting audiences, but where do we go from there? Audiences will be expecting you to make good on the headline’s promise(s), so it’s essential that the body paragraphs are crafted and delivered succinctly. Join Wordsmith and let’s explore how to write body paragraphs that carry heft and heat!
What’s business writing?
Business writing (BW) is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but what does it mean? According to ThoughtCo., it is defined as a “professional communication tool” used by corporations and other professional entities for internal or external audiences. BW is stereotypically associated with annual reports, press releases and proposals for divulging company-specific (or sensitive) information to the public – conversely, it’s usually meeting minutes, memorandums and work emails from an internal standpoint.
However, BW can take on a lot more applications. Take this blog for example. Blog articles are generally informal, so it shouldn’t qualify as a business writing, right? Not at all! Any sort of communications piece where you write to an audience can be justified as BW as long as you have the intention for it. Our blogs take on a more conversational tone because we want them to be easier to read, but each article has a specific purpose – to inform and teach readers about a particular topic! How succinct and concise you make your content depends on the context or usage, but the core element of any business writing piece is to inform with professionalism.
Whether for fiction or non-fiction, any writer can benefit from learning the ins and outs of writing like a professional!
Giving paragraphs kick
You’ve probably seen plenty of junk on the internet. Fake news and clickbait aside, there are an abundance of articles where someone offers their opinions or advice. Although everyone is entitled to an opinion, some of these articles just feel off. Perhaps it’s because each paragraph is over 500 words long. Or perhaps the train of thought is disjointed and jumps all over the place. We’ve all seen these before and they are just not fun to read – especially if the author want us to consider it as business writing.
To give a better idea of what proper business writing is like, Maryann V. Piotrowski identifies several key rules in his book Effective Business Writing: A Guide for Those Who Write on the Job.
· Focus points
Each paragraph represents a key point or topic that you wish to develop. The entirety of your argument in each paragraph must adhere to the point (which is usually identified in the topic sentence) – doing so prevents irrelevant details from cluttering your writing. Let’s examine the paragraph below and see if there’s anything wrong with it:
Medical insurance is a must nowadays. Considering the potentially high cost that can be accrued by hospitalisation and treatment plans, households without medical insurance are often victims of significant debt – creating a massive burden that could cause lifechanging challenges. Don’t be a smoker though, it’ll give medical insurance companies a field day bumping up your costs! Being insured gives you and your family a handy lifeline in the case of a sudden illness or accident.
The part about smoking, while not incorrect, deviates from the topic on the importance of life insurance and muddles the paragraph. Save it for a following point!
How about in cases where there are no topic sentences? Consider this example by Piotrowski:
“The mall will be constructed on the site now occupied by the Plains Upholstery plant. It will consist of 250,000 square feet of retail space on two levels, with 20,000 square feet of parking space and 10,000 square feet of outdoor recreation space. Swartz Management is now trying to attract tenants to the mall. Construction will begin in August; the mall will be ready for occupancy next June.”
Since there is no topic sentence to guide us, we need to read the entire paragraph to determine the topic. As it’s about the construction of a new mall, the sentence on tenancy doesn’t seem to have very much correlation with retail space and construction schedule! Tenancy and occupancy should be reserved for a future paragraph.
“When you are drafting a piece of writing, ideas may come to you so quickly that you do not take the time to sort them into neat, well-focused paragraphs,” writes Piotrowski. “But when you come back to revise, make sure that each paragraph holds together as a unit and that your topic sentence helps define what the paragraph is about.”
· Paragraph development
Developing a paragraph is like developing a character in a novel – a character needs backstory, interests and goals to be interesting. In the case of paragraphs, facts, quotes, statistics and background context are key for solidifying your points. Compare the two below to see which you find more convincing:
(A) The annual premium on a person’s medical insurance depends on a number of factors – like age, smoking or drinking habits, existing illnesses and so on. For the most part, it’s not too expensive for the average person.
(B) According to the Kaiser Family Foundation’s findings, the average cost of health insurance for a 40 year old male in America was around US$452 per month (or HK$3,515). Note that this is a benchmark, and does not take into account drinking or smoking habits and existing illnesses. Should a person have a pre-existing condition, say diabetes or obesity, then the cost will be significantly higher. From this JCMP report, obesity alone can raise annual premiums by US$1,535 (or almost HK$12,000).
Readers will always value traceable facts over conjecture, especially in business writing – a few simple boosters can easily strengthen any argument!
· Length management
Thick blocks of text are never fun to read. Even if you have oodles of information to support a point, don’t try and cram everything together into one paragraph. “If a paragraph runs more than ten to twelve lines, you should consider breaking it into two or more paragraphs,” recommends Piotrowski. “When a paragraph gets too long, look for logical points at which to divide it.” Consider how you would divide up the following paragraph:
Medical insurance commonly provides coverage for two different trees – hospitalisation coverage and outpatient coverage. The former includes anything that requires a patient to be hospitalised, including room and board, surgery fees and so forth. The latter includes everything that doesn’t require hospitalisation, such as consultation fees, lab examinations, medication, physiotherapy sessions etc. Under CBSH’s Flexi-health insurance scheme, all insured individuals and family members under their plan can receive full coverage from hospitalisation and surgical fees (without any sub-limits). Furthermore, they may be eligible for tax deductions of up to HK$5,000.
We’d split the paragraph right after identifying the differences between hospitalisation and outpatient coverage. Although the sentence on Flexi-health does tie in with hospitalisation and surgical fees, it introduces a new subject that is better off on its own.
· Writing rhythm and connecting sentences properly
Aside from length, how well several sentences flow individually and together also contributes to the paragraph’s strength. If there are many sentences (or phrases) that are in similar structure and length, the paragraph becomes monotonous to read, like so:
Medical insurance is a safeguard against unexpected illnesses or accidents. The effects of COVID-19 have shown the severe cost of being uninsured. COVID-19 can cause debilitating weakness that results in lengthy hospital stays. This is especially crippling if it affects the breadwinners of households. Medical insurance helps partially shift the responsibility for medical expenses.
It’s tedious to read and does not flow well when read aloud. To shake up the monotony and poor flow, an easy fix is to join together sentences. However, avoid using “and” to link together sentences unless they regard two ideas of equal importance. “And is often used incorrectly when it joins two ideas that bear a more complex relationship than that signified by and. (And simply signals an additional thought),” explains Piotrowski. She then identifies three common ways that “and” is misused:
1. Causal relationships
Incorrect: Medical insurance subscriptions increase 10% last month, and it has boosted our monthly income.
Correct: Given that medical insurance subscriptions increased 10% last month, the newfound revenue has boosted our monthly income.
2. Conditional relationships
Incorrect: Keep smoking, and your premium costs will continue increasing.
Correct: If you keep smoking, your premium costs will continue to increase.
3. Time sequences
Incorrect: There are still outstanding bills, and it shows we’re overbudget.
Correct: There are still outstanding bills, which show that we’re overbudget.
“In rereading your draft, circle every and. Question its use,” she suggests. “Does and obscure a more complex relationship between ideas?” If so, revise it for more precision.
Let’s see if we can revise the rhythm of our earlier example by joining together sentences (where possible):
Medical insurance is a safeguard against unexpected illnesses or accidents. The effects of COVID-19 have shown the severe cost of being uninsured, as the disease can cause debilitating weakness that results in lengthy hospital stays, and this is especially crippling if it affects the breadwinners of households. Medical insurance helps partially shift the responsibility for medical expenses.
Writing a good paragraph takes more thought than simply stringing together related sentences. Business writing is also about presentation, because the information you share with your audiences also represents a symbol of your brand’s professionalism. Take the effort to write, and audiences will recognise you as a quality content creator.