Humanity’s great capacity for emotion is one of our species’ defining features. From a visual perspective, someone who is angry appears and behaves very differently from someone who is happy. In writing, however, it’s more difficult to discern whether someone is angry or happy since we have to rely on a writer’s description and narration to fill in the blanks. Although labelling a character with an emotion is a quick and easy option, we feel there are better ways to express feelings with more detail and vivacity. Join Wordsmith as we give emotions a writing overhaul!
The (bad) basics
The fastest way to write about anything is to describe it as it is. John was angry, John was happy… but if you were aiming for anything beyond brevity, then there’s a small problem. It’s too direct and plain. Since human emotions take place on a spectrum from mild to explosive (i.e. finding $5 on the street versus winning the super kazillionaire lottery) – using generic terms like angry or happy is weak and unprecise, and without providing any other context, readers have to guess where on the emotion spectrum a character sits.
This leads us to the topic of dialogue and quotes. Tacking on an adverb is so easy and braindead that it’s usually the first option we think of – e.g. “Hey there,” said John happily. However, adverbs are often unconvincing and suffer from the same lack of descriptiveness as “John was happy”. This can cause confusion. A notable example of this would be with J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, where Dumbledore confronts a bewildered Harry with “‘Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, Harry?’ he asked calmly.” Then in the movie version, we can see Dumbledore bolting towards Harry and shaking him like a scared puppy. It might just be a cinematic exaggeration, but Internet denizens have been making fun of the discrepancy since 2005.
To remedy such a situation, some writers have opted to use synonyms instead. For example, instead of “John said angrily”, they’d write it as “John exploded” or “John snapped”. While it certainly gives us a better idea of where on the emotion spectrum John is, this method is still flawed – it fails the show, don’t tell rule of writing. How did John explode or snap? It leaves details up to the imagination, and as a storyteller, you want to make sure that your audiences are getting the same version of the story!
Kicking the habit
As is with most things in life, the best way to inject more detail into our writing is to use empathy – to imagine ourselves on the spot as one of the characters. If John were angry, what does being angry feel like? We might feel our faces flush, our teeth gritting or perhaps it might be something as subtle as a twitch in the left eye! Any of these are more descriptive and are a better indicator of anger than merely labelling John as angry. Let’s try an example with happiness:
A:
“I’ve got your reports right here Mr. Sullivan,” said John happily.
B:
“I’ve got your reports right here Mr. Sullivan,” hooted John.
C:
“I’ve got your reports right here Mr. Sullivan,” said John as he handed the stack over with a beaming smile.
While a large smile can be creepy out of the blue, it’s a natural physiological reaction to joy. After finishing a troublesome assignment, wouldn’t you agree that a sense of relief and pride is warranted? What better way to show it than by flashing those pearly whites!
Furthermore, physiological responses aren’t limited to facial expressions. For example, you could also describe the way someone moves or interacts with their environment:
D:
“I’ve got your reports right here Mr. Sullivan,” said John as he made his way towards the desk with a spring in his step.
E:
John drummed a beat against the door and strode into the office. “I’ve got your reports right here Mr. Sullivan,” said John.
When we’re feeling good about something, we tend to develop a peculiar bounciness in our movement that evokes confidence and joy – hence the saying “a spring in your step”. Like a child skipping down the street without a care in the world, it’s fair to assume that an adult doing the same would mean that they’re happy… although the influence of hallucinogenic drugs might also be a possibility, let’s not be so pessimistic right off the bat! The same can be said when you do a knock that isn’t the curt knock-knock – which could signify a laid back attitude. When paired with the motion of striding (taking big steps), it conveys an air of triumph and confidence.
On a side note, emotions are best avoided when used in journalistic writing or direct quotes. A good rule of thumb to follow is to make quotes using says or said only – the rationale being that speaking terms like whispered, muttered or groaned and adverbs like said happily or says angrily detract from the story. “They will render [the quote] amateurish, putting the focus on the writing and distracting from what was said,” says author Robert Roy Britt. There are exceptions. While explains, thinks or points out can be used under context-specific circumstances, just remember that you can’t go wrong with said or says!
Tacking an emotion onto a character is easy, but how well a writer can show emotion is a different story. To make characters’ emotions tangible, describing their actions, responses and how they interact with their surroundings is a better method of storytelling than pointedly telling readers how they feel. Emotions are as complex as we make them – and when we write about emotions we have personally experienced, it’s easier to create a mood that audiences will feel.