As children, we often hear the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. While physical bullying can leave bruises and cuts that heal over time, mean words can cause more significant psychological trauma – even long after they’ve been said. School yard insults aside, the advent of the Internet has made ridicule even more prevalent. Through a simple glass screen, the Internet can grant anyone a veil of anonymity which allows you to heckle people around the world should you so choose. While some people say cruel things for the sake of being cruel, it is the misguided who are unable to discern between ridicule and useful criticism. Join Wordsmith as we explore the elements of constructive criticism.
When passion goes awry
Football has one of the most prominent fanbases in the world, so it’s no surprise that EURO 2020 was a massively hyped event. An annual tournament between 24 European nations, the 2020 edition was pushed back until June 2021 due to the global pandemic. Cooped up for a year, fans were understandably very excited for the return of the continental showdown.
Fast-forward to the finals. England versus Italy. Ask any England fan and you’ll find out that it’s been over 50 years since England has made it into the finals. With glory on the line, fans were hopeful that their dry streak would finally end.
Unfortunately, Team England did not live up to fans’ expectations and lost 3-2 after a series of shootouts. The fans were livid and took to violence and vandalism, and expectedly, many also voiced their discontent on social media – some even going as far as sending racist death threats aimed at black players who missed penalty shots.
Backing your favourite sports team is one thing, but being a fan also means supporting the players when things get rough. Gareth Southgate, the coach for the England National Football Team, wrote this heartfelt letter after the incident on the subject of ridicule and hope. Here is an excerpt:
“Every game, no matter the opposition, has the potential to create a lifelong memory for an England fan somewhere. What is sometimes forgotten is just how much it means to the players.
Players are fans too, after all. That’s how it starts. It starts with kids sitting in front of TVs, with wall charts and heroes. Undoubtedly, we’re in a different era now, where footballers aren’t as accessible to fans as they once were. They don’t ride the same bus home from games, or meet in the pub for a pint and a post-match analysis.
But, despite all the changes in modern football, what cannot be questioned about the current generation of England players is their pride in representing this country. This idea that some players don’t know what it means to play for England — or don’t care — has become something of a false narrative…
Our players are role models. And, beyond the confines of the pitch, we must recognise the impact they can have on society. We must give them the confidence to stand up for their teammates and the things that matter to them as people.”
It’s hard reading through Southgate’s entire letter. Not because it’s worded or written poorly, but on the contrary, it’s disheartening to see that people still need to be reminded on how to be considerate human beings – especially in this day and age when political correctness and inclusivity are preached so often. While it’s easy for us to tell people to simply ignore hateful and hurtful comments, we must also take into account that these soccer players get significantly more attention because of their fame. For the everyday person who only gets a few messages a day, it’s a quick process to block out bad messages – but for the famous folk who get upwards of thousands of messages… seeing a significant portion of their mail being negative is emotionally draining and impossible to fully ignore.
For the fans who genuinely want their teams to succeed, ridiculing underperforming players is essentially a coin-flip scenario. It might inspire them to train harder to improve, but it might also cause mental damage that hampers their performance. Instead of leaving things to chance, why not redirect ridicule into something more constructive?
Justifying criticism
Before criticising someone, we need to make sure our intentions are correct. Although you could argue that skin colour or gender are alterable via cosmetic surgery, insulting someone for a trait they were born with (or decided to change to) has no bearing on their capacities and skill as a person… so why bother? If we must criticise, then criticise the aspects that can be improved and honed with experience and training.
One of the most notorious tweets sent after Euro2020 belonged to a man named Andy Bone, in which he complained that the three black English players responsible for the kick-off penalty shots ruined the game for England (with him using more offensive language). While it may be true that these three misses cost the game, does Bones’ offensive tweet still count as criticism? To learn the criteria of constructive criticism, let’s follow along with this handy LinkedIn guide:
1. All useful feedback is specific, not general.
2. Effective feedback is descriptive and helpful, as opposed to evaluative and punitive.
3. Own your feedback (in other words, don’t pass blame).
4. Good feedback address issues, not the person.
5. Pick your spots and don’t give too much feedback to a person all at once.
6. Feedback should be a dialogue, not a monologue.
7. Good feedback is checked (and allows the person receiving the feedback to ask questions or for clarifications).
8. Effective feedback is followed up upon, not forgotten.
From this guide, Bone’s tweet fails every check – malicious racism aside, his message offers nothing to act upon nor does it inspire positive growth. Now, if we were a good-intentioned fan, how could we have written a more constructive message? Granted, we are not experts at player coaching nor on soccer techniques, but there are several things from the checklist that we can follow (and within Twitter’s 280-character limit)!
“I am disappointed that England lost to Italy. It essentially boiled down to a series of missed shots at the end. Be it a case of shot nerves or accidental flubbing, perhaps these guys need to work on more penalty kick drills and ways to stay cool under pressure!”
Whether we mean to say hurtful things or not, our disapproval often stems from a passionate response. The petty would simply leave it as ridicule, but the truly passionate would offer something better. By offering constructive criticism, you’re offering to work with others to achieve greater goals. So why lower yourself to weak insults when you could help others and yourself improve? The world would be a much more pleasant place, don’t you think?