In Hong Kong, China and most other cultures, the word “face” (面子 or mianzi) carries a dual meaning. Apart from its literal definition of outwards appearance, it also represents the sociological concept of a person(s) “self-image or value and their want [for such] to be appreciated and respected by other members of the community.”
Even in the face of a screwup (pun intended), it’s inevitable that people or businesses seek to preserve face when making an apology – be it through pointing the finger of blame, offering reparations, vowing to make changes or some combination of the above. In most cases, this tactic can result in apologies that fail to impress, or worse yet, appear disingenuous. So how exactly should we go about crafting a genuine apology? Read on to find out more…
Psychoanalyst Dr. Robert M. Gordon explains how to transform an apology from a tool for seeking forgiveness into one for repairing relationships.
The appalling
Hong Kong has been in a state of turmoil since the announcement of the extradition bill – a highly contentious law that would grant the government power to extradite alleged criminals to foreign countries (like China) on a case-by-case basis. Without delving too deeply into the political controversy surrounding the bill, do know that it caused numerous city-wide protests (some met with police brutality and retaliation) – resulting in public demand for the bill’s complete withdrawal and Hong Kong Chief Executive Carrie Lam’s resignation.
On 18 June 2019, Carrie Lam offered a public apology following the temporary suspension of the bill, but it was not the kind of “sincere” apology the public had been expecting.
She agreed that the troubles caused by the bill were largely due to “deficiencies” in the work of the government and herself. At first glance, this clever tactic of accepting blame plays to human psychology. There’s an old saying that “to err is human”, and studies have shown that we are more likely to trust people who admit to having flaws like ourselves. Under most circumstances, it’s a tactic that evokes empathy, but we must also take into account that she is the head of an entire country’s government – people will want to know about her plans to amend or improve the situation. This excerpt describes her upcoming plans:
“To those young people who participated peacefully to express their views, let me say I understand you expect your Chief Executive to listen to different voices, and to respect and care for young people… I have never spared any effort to serve the public, but this incident has made me realise, as the Chief Executive, I’ve still got much to learn and do in better balancing diverse interest…”
Wanting to become a better listener and advocating for the interests of the public is a great idea, but not explaining how to accomplish any of that certainly raises more than a few eyebrows. Considering how she failed to mention whether the bill will be withdrawn was also worrying news, nor did she denounce the violent acts of several police officers nor respond to demands for her dismissal. Although the bill has since been declared officially “dead”, Lam’s public apology failed to assuage protestors, and was ultimately more of a fluff piece than a recognisable plan of action.
That said, it’s certainly not the worst apology out there. Remember when Dr. David Dao was wrongly dragged off an overbooked United Airlines’ flight? Airline CEO Oscar Munoz responded with an atrocious tweet that made light of the situation, where apparently “re-accommodate” and violent removal meant the same thing to the airline. The lack of compassion for a person (especially a lawful and paying customer with a valid professional reason for why he could not surrender his seat) understandably resulted in a great backlash.
United Airlines and CEO Oscar Munoz were met with pitchforks and torches after the airline’s treatment of Dr. David Dao was brought to light.
The appreciated
Getting the apology’s tone right is no easy task, but it can make a world of difference in how your audiences will view you thereafter. When we think of an apology, we often imagine one of sombreness and grovelling. After all, we want to express our sorrows and regret when we apologise – it wouldn’t make sense for an apology to be humorous and risk our public reputation plummeting even further… right? However, what if the humour was subtler and packaged with more tact?
Imagine if a restaurant that specialised in serving only one type of food, somehow managed to run out of ingredients for said food – not just at one franchise location, but across the country! You’d think it’d spell doom for the company, but KFC UK managed to overcome this mishap with only minor damage to its brand.
The hiccup arose when the restaurant chain changed their supply delivery partner and experienced “operational issues”. Adding a pinch of self-deprecation to their classic eleven herbs and spices recipe, KFC released an ad that poked fun at their mismanagement of the situation and promised new stocks would be arriving soon. More impressively, they did not point the finger at their new supplier (DHL) and accepted the responsibility fully. “I think they’ve done a fantastic job,” said Rupert Younger (PR expert and director of the Oxford University Centre for Corporate Reputation. “It speaks to a business that understand that mistakes were made and they’ve prepared to have fun at their own expense.”
On the other hand, a solemn apology is equally useful at getting the job done and lets audiences know that you truly mean business. PwC’s response to the blunder at the 2017 Oscars is a fine example of such, where a simple envelope mix-up during the announcement for Best Picture resulted in the wrong film being named – embarrassing the presenters, unintended award recipients and the event’s integrity. Concise and to the point, PwC’s apology doesn’t puff up the piece with any unnecessary details and clearly outlines what happened and what was being done about it. Furthermore, it’d have been easy for PwC to throw one of the accountants responsible for handling the envelopes under the bus (he was allegedly busy tweeting backstage), but like KFC UK, the Big Four accounting firm took responsibility for not having stricter safeguards in place.
Although we live in a culture where face is king, face means absolutely nothing if our public reputation is in tatters from a mistake. A well-written apology accepts blame when appropriate, informs audiences of plans to rectify the situation, and more importantly, preserves the public’s faith and respect. It can be tricky to get the tone right, but a professional copywriter can help to craft the right message and preserve your hard-won stakeholder relationships.