There’s no shortage of ways to refer to other people or things in English. “That cretin double parked.” “Which sandwich is mine?” “Whoever stole my cookies has five seconds to live.” Whether you’re making a declarative statement, asking a question or intimidating a snack thief, who, which and that are the three most common words used when referring to another subject or object. However, because they all serve a similar function, it can be a little difficult to pick out when and where to use each. With a little help from Caroline Taggart and J.A. Wines’ book My Grammar and I (or Should That Be “Me”?), Wordsmith is here to clear up the confusion surrounding relative pronouns!
Who’s who?
Let’s deal with the most straightforward of the list – who. Think about when the word who comes up in everyday conversation:
1. Who put you in charge?
2. The man who shovelled our driveway is asking for payment.
Do you notice a common theme between the examples? They all involve people as a subject! In examples 1, we don’t have a defined subject, so who is a stand-in for whoever it may be. On the other hand, example 2 does have a defined subject – the man. In this case, who is used as a relative pronoun to refer to the subject.
Whose and whom are also closely related, but their usage is more specialised. Let’s look at a few more examples:
a. John was a doctor whose medical advice I respected.
b. There used to be a musician whose works I really liked, but I can’t remember who.
c. The chef at Applebee’s whom we loved is retiring.
d. Sam whom you criticised for being a lousy writer is sulking in his room.
When writing with whose, it should only be used when referring to something that belongs to another person. Whom is used when referring to a person who is the object of the sentence’s verb – a subtle difference from who, where the person is the subject.
Alone, these are pretty simple to deal with… but the inclusion of commas might shake things up! Which of these are correct?
i. The man who drives a fancy car caused the accident.
ii. The man, who drives a fancy car, caused the accident.
iii. John whose medical advice I respected was a great guy.
iv. John, whose medical advice I respected, was a great guy.
v. Your doctor whom you visit often had his license revoked.
vi. Your doctor, whom you visit often, had his license revoked.
Would you be surprised if they were all correct? This is because of the way restrictive and non-restrictive clauses work! A restrictive clause defines the meaning of a prior noun and provides specific information relating to it (in example i, where we’re specifically talking about one man who drives a fancy car that caused an accident). Example ii features a non-restrictive clause that tells us the culprit is someone who drives a fancy car – but it opens the possibility that there could be more than one suspect. What if it was an accident involving five guys who all drove fancy cars? The statement would still be true, but we wouldn’t know who did it from that alone! (In the event that a single restrictive clause is not enough, you’d want to include more defining features – maybe highlight the specific car model the culprit drives or what he looks like to create an unmistakable accusation)
Non-restrictive clauses can also be interpreted as a non-essential blurb of additional information about the preceding noun or noun-phrase. In this case, if you took out the non-restrictive clause, the sentence would make just as much sense (ie. the man caused an accident). So whether or not the man’s fancy car should be a restrictive or non-restrictive clause also depends on the context and whether or not it’s important for audiences to know. The same conditions apply when dealing with whose and whom!
Which is that?
So when is it correct to use which or that? “Use which to refer to animals or inanimate objects,” explains Taggart and Wines. “That as a less formal substitute for either [who or which].” Easy rules to remember!
1. The cat which meows a lot was caught sleeping on the job.
2. The cat that meows a lot was caught sleeping on the job.
3. The guy who took my purse got arrested.
4. The guy that took my purse got arrested.
5. Jon who overslept was late to work.
6. Jon that overslept was late to work.
That can be used relatively interchangeably with who or which, but notice how it sounds odd in example 6 when trying to reference a proper pronoun. When dealing with proper or personal pronouns, use who exclusively to avoid being rude.
a. The teacher that we had for chemistry was fired.
b. The horse which he used for breeding got too old.
In the examples above, the sentences follow an object-subject-verb clause structure. The sentences’ antecedent of teacher / horse is the object of the following clause, which means the phrase can also be rewritten as “the chemistry teacher we had”; “the breeding horse he used”. In such instances, the relative pronouns that and which can be omitted entirely from the sentence.
a. The teacher we had for chemistry was fired.
b. The horse he used for breeding got too old.
If you’re looking for quick and easy ways to trim out unnecessary words from your word count, this is a very handy trick. The rules involving commas from the who section are applicable here as well – remember, important information associated with a subject should always be in restrictive clauses (aka: no commas)!
While we’re here, let’s also briefly cover when to use this, that, these and those – the quadruplets of demonstrative pronouns. This and that are used when referring to a singular entity, the latter pair for when there’s more than one. Let’s say you’re at the ice cream shop and want to pick a flavour. Do you tell the ice cream guy to give you this or that flavour?
It’s a bit of an interesting question, because it depends on your proximity to the object! If the flavour you’re pointing to three rows down, that would be the only suitable option. Using this not only sounds awkward, but it also implies that it’s something within your reach. On the other hand, if the flavour is right next to you, then both this and that could be used interchangeably. Same deal for plurals. Which of the below is correct?
I. Pass me these chips.
II. You want these chips?
III. Pass me those chips.
IV. You want those chips?
Aside from Example I, the rest are correct. Assuming the chips are already within your reach, it doesn’t make sense to ask someone to hand them to you… unless you’re in a position where you can assert your dominance over someone. However, if you said “I want these chips” as you snatch the bag away from your friend, then that’d be correct (albeit a bit mean).
English is rather finicky when it comes to word usage, especially for relative and demonstrative pronouns – thankfully, there are rules for when to use each and how sentences should be phrased alongside them. For more handy English grammar and sentence structuring tips, stay tuned!